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Recorded primarily during August of 2016. This is the first song I’ve recorded fully, on my own, in my bedroom “studio” since my breakup last March. One of the first songs I wrote after the breakup and it sort of became my anthem of depression for the summer of 2016.
In March of 2016 an almost four year relationship ended and I completely fell apart as a human being. In the first week I couldn't eat or sleep and by that Saturday I weighed 106lbs. I was losing myself emotionally and physically after the breakup, but had been losing myself to my depression and bitterness for even longer. I spent most of the summer completely isolated and coming to terms with who I was as a person; a person with toxic patterns of behavior that constantly damaged both myself and the people I cared about on a regular basis. This past year I saw a therapist for the first time, started antidepressants, and began attending Al-Anon Family Group.
I am in no way back at one hundred percent. I was actually never there. But I’m getting there. Every day I try a little bit harder to lose the person I was in the past and figure out how to enjoy being alive. I’m sorry 2016 was such a shitty year for everyone, and some of us didn't make it through, but I’m glad most of us are still here. Don't give up.
If possible, give it a listen with headphones. Depression sucks, but at least I got some art and music out of it. Thanks for listening